Only the above nooky moment disturbed as a big black bald-headed former Green Beret called Cooke ( Bill Duke) comes smashing, flying through your motel wall whilst you’re having the time of your life with some cheap dollar hooker. Not as legendary as Jamie Lee Curtis’s insanely beautiful moment in Trading Places (1983) which let’s be honest was a hard pair to beat. Haha that scene was world famous in the school yard. Nice rack alert! Get those fingers ready on the pause buttons, it’s a quick fire pair. Will I be needing to pause the video player? AKA are there any boobies? Why get geared up on the boat ready for action when you can strip down to your tight black pants and row to shore naked! Poor Cindy doesn’t know where to look!
COMMANDO ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER SHOTGUN MOVIE
Wouldn’t be an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie without his bulging muscles taking up half the screen. Of course but hey when Arnie’s here it’s never gonna be impossible is it? John says it best “ All fucking hell is gonna break loose”ĭoes the hero get a chance to show off their muscles? Camo paint, combat vest, getting locked and loaded, ready to bring the pain. The second one is the classic montage of John getting geared up ready to cause mayhem. One with his daughter Jenny ( Alyssa Milano) as her loving dad teaches her, fishing, swimming, cooking, martial arts and… feeding deer. Surely it features a training montage scene? If you listen carefully between each machine gun blast he whimpers “ My balls my beautiful balls” Just thinking about his feline sized goolies makes him so mad crazy he becomes an unstoppable machine. However our John uses his mini balls to fuel his power.
Heroes balls of steel and anger ratings out of ten? 10/10īalls of steel? More like testicles shrunken to the size of two hazelnuts from constantly injecting roids into them. Hehe It’s very true and makes for an unforgettable baddie. I’m going to shoot you between the balls.”Īpparently Vernon refers to his character as “ Freddie Mercury on steroids.” which is spot on. “ John, I’m not going to shoot you between the eyes. Well apart from looking super camp with his tash and the chain mail vest Bennett has all the same skill set as our John Matrix. Jenny Matrix – “ Not as nearly as nice as watching him smash your face in.“ However it’s his mercenary henchmen Bennett ( Vernon Wells) who’s the psycho malicious super bad guy with a cheese chip on his shoulder.Īrius – “ Your father appears to be cooperating. South American dictator Arius ( Dan Hedaya) is the main baddie who’s put things into motion for poor John. Imagine if I had seen Quest for Fire (1981) back then? Jeepers I would of exploded like that rocket launcher she fires off! She also got my love radar flashing in that film, that has probably been swept under the rug now, Soul Man (1986). I had fallen deeply in love with her before Commando in the break-dancing, hip hop movie Beat Street (1984). Rae’s sweet smile melted my heart as a thirteen year old. Hot girl? Damsel in distress or ass kicker?ĭamn she mighty fine one. Sure to come in useful when a seaplane is needed. Cindy ( Rae Dawn Chong) an innocent air-hostess in-between flights gets caught up in Matrix’s war. I would guess protein shakes, raw eggs with a drizzle of roid juice.īeware an air-hostess carrying a M202A1 FLASH rocket launcher especially when she’s only just read the instruction manual. Should you be feeling hot he’ll help you to “ Let off some steam” with your very own air vent. Semi-automatic pistol, assault rifle, combat shotgun, machine gun, hand grenades, rocket launcher, axes, circular saw blades. For a small fee he’ll happily cut back your unruly greenery with his trusty belt-fed machine gun. Hedgerows, rose bushes or trees need trimming? JM is your man.
COMMANDO ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER SHOTGUN PLUS
Retired United States Special Forces Colonel now a chilling kind of lumberjack and full-time Dad.Įvery military skill known to mankind plus pretty handy with carpenters tools. When his daughter is kidnapped John Matrix has no option other than tool up and mow down bad guys. When his old General friend turns up informing him his old unit is being killed one by one, John’s quiet life is about to end. Special Forces Colonel John Matrix is happily retired living in the mountains with his beloved daughter. I even had the poster on my bedroom wall. This movie was perfect for the home movie rental market. Everyone wanted and needed to see it as soon as they could. Everyone was talking about Commando at school. This video cassette flew off the shelves like hot cakes. Had I seen this one on VHS back in the day? That Austrian Oak, Mister Universe himself, Arnold “Arnie” Schwarzenegger plays John Matrix.
Now they’ve taken the one thing he would kill for – his only daughter.
0 kommentar(er)
